Bigger than I realised!

They always say that a marriage is bigger than just the two people who are married.  Well the same applies with a special needs baby! The woes and joys of the last year have had an impact on more that just Emily, Grant's and my lives.  All those who love her (and there are too many to mention) have been deeply impacted by all we have been through in her life so far.  I have been very caught up with how I am (or am not) handling all the issues we are facing, but, once again, the lesson here is that it is NOT about me.  It is very hard as an adult to comprehend what a baby must be going through.  I also worry about how much of this turmoil she might remember.  I am constantly being reassured that she won't remember any of this when she is older, but in actual fact, I also worry about how much of this she won't be able to remember.  Not the pain and fear, obviously, but the overwhelming love and support she is constantly surrounded by.  Grant and I need only make the slightest mention of needing help with or for Emily (or ourselves) and we are inundated with offers of assistance.  This all sounds so trivial when put down in black and white, but it truly is so humbling and moving.  My greatest wish is that our beloved daughter remains forever aware of the wonderful world she has been born into, a world where, if anyone around has anything to do with it, she will never know true unhappiness.  So, this post, is to thank each and everyone one of you who have been there with us, each step of the way.  From the day we found out that Emily would be born with a cleft lip and palate, till the day her palate was closed and on into her 'catch up' phase now that she is 'normal'. There isn't really an appropriate way to express my love for you all, just know that, should the day every arise that you need us, we will be there, right by your side, to walk that journey with you.

Operation: Fix my palate

Emily is currently in surgery and we (Grant, my mom and I) are eagerly, nervously awaiting any news.  I am very happy to report that this morning has gone very smoothly so far.  Emily didn't seem to notice that she had not had breakfast and was in a brilliant mood!  Much laughing at all of us and her toys.  She didn't like the premeds, but fell into a deep sleep as soon as she had swallowed them.  She stirred from this sleep when we walked into the theatre and tried to move away from the anaesthetic mask, but didn't really fight it, so that was a relief.
So, now we wait...  heartbeats elavated...